Wednesday, 1 July 2009

HA!! – Ha Ha

I found this at my friend Munks’ place Sticky Pages and I had to pilfer it and post it over here – word for word… Be warned, it’s seriously funny…

 

This was posted on an authors group and it was to funny not to share....

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. .

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft

P: Something loose in cockpit

S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed..

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode..

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S : Suspect you're right

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P:Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from the midget.

 

 

 

13 Speak To Me:

Cecile on 1 July 2009 at 22:17 said...

OMG... I love this... When you need a laugh, I urge you to come here!!!
Lovin this up Erotic!

VampFanGirl on 1 July 2009 at 23:38 said...

LOL! That's hilarious!

Oooo E.H., how you likin' Joe so far? What a dreamboat. *wink*

;) VFG

Amy C on 2 July 2009 at 00:13 said...

Oh that was too funny!

So glad you pilfered that!

Fantasy Dreamer (Donna) on 2 July 2009 at 02:25 said...

Love this! It gave me some very needed laughing. Thank you!

My Blog 2.0 (Dottie) on 2 July 2009 at 03:49 said...

Hi EH!

Hilarious! And people wonder why I'm afraid of airplanes --- not of flying, flying seems safe.

Laughing out loud!!!

Dottie :)

Barbara on 2 July 2009 at 06:31 said...

OMG!! Too funny!!!

asweetcakes on 2 July 2009 at 12:17 said...

hahahahahaha! Are these real??? I'm so glad i read this!

Jenna Byrnes on 2 July 2009 at 12:45 said...

What a great day brightener! Thanks for sharing EH!

Blodeuedd on 2 July 2009 at 13:56 said...

Lol, love that last one!!
Good stuff you find

Erotic Horizon on 2 July 2009 at 14:25 said...

Hey Ladies..

I laugh my ass off, when I read it - I just couldn't resist posting it here..

I am pleased you guys are enjoying it.

E.H>

Jude Mason on 2 July 2009 at 19:11 said...

E. H.,

I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my chair. I also swiped it from you to post on a couple more groups. Hehehehe!

Thanks so much for the belly laugh!

Hugs

Erotic Horizon on 3 July 2009 at 06:28 said...

Jude...

I hope your team enjoy this as much as we all did... it really is funny, and I don't do funny.. much

But this was....

E.H>

Lily on 5 July 2009 at 04:23 said...

LOL, that was fabulous!!